Unconventional Goal Setting

IN TODAY’S EDITION

THE SHIFT

This isn’t about setting goals for the sake of productivity or achievement alone. It’s about crafting a life of meaning, excitement, and alignment. After all, goals without soul are just another task list.

Here are three approaches that might just revolutionize how you think about your 2025:

1. The Excitement Audit

Tim Ferriss offers a compelling alternative to traditional goal setting. It is better than any generic New Years goals list that I’ve tried, and will hopefully give your New Year’s resolutions a fighting chance. 

Ferriss observes that many goals stem from a desire to be "happy," but the concept of happiness has become so overused that it’s almost meaningless. It’s vagueness and esoteric nature doesn’t get us any closer to embodying the feeling or living a life characterized as such. Instead, Ferriss advises focusing on excitement. 

What excites you? 

What makes you feel alive?  

Excitement, Ferriss argues, is the most practical synonym for happiness and a better north star to guide your plans. By shifting your focus to activities and experiences that spark excitement, you naturally cultivate a life of passion and joy.  

Neuroscience also backs this up: when we experience excitement, our brains release a cocktail of dopamine and norepinephrine that not only enhances motivation but also improves memory and learning. In other words, we're literally wired to succeed at things that excite us.

Ferris suggests using his dreamline exercise, a powerful tool to clarify your vision and align it with your sense of excitement. You can explore this technique in Ferriss’s book The 4-Hour Workweek, but a free breakdown is below in The Essentials section.

Task 1: Write out 10 things that light you up and conjure excitement. Than choose 1 that you will pursue in the next month. 

2. The Power of Words (Part 1)

Instead of crafting a laundry list of resolutions and goals, choose one word or phrase to flavor your 2025. This practice, rooted in the ancient Japanese concept of "kotodama" (言霊) - the belief that words hold spiritual power - carries a profound wisdom that modern science is only beginning to understand.

In Japanese culture, kotodama suggests that words aren't just symbols or sounds - they contain the power to shape reality. Naturally the West is playing catch up to ancient knowledge that has led generation after generation. But, nevertheless, research in cognitive linguistics shows that the languages we speak and the words we choose quite literally shape our perception of the world. 

As linguist Benjamin Lee Whorf noted, "Language is not simply a reporting device for experience but a defining framework for it."

Author and researcher Dr. Brené Brown also speaks to the power of intentional word choice: "The words we use to describe how we're feeling are very important. They go beyond just describing our emotional state – they frame how we understand ourselves and how we want to show up in the world."

Task: Two ways to find your word. Look back over 2024 - What word or phrase would characterize this year? Perhaps it’s not what you would have hoped. You’re in good company if it wasn’t. I also didn’t love the word that colored my year. But this did help me get more intentional about what I desire 2025’s theme to be. Alternatively, you can just start with the end in mind. Close your eyes and envision your ideal self at the end of 2025. Don't focus on achievements - focus on how you feel, how you move through the world, how others experience you. 

The Power of Words (Part 2)

Creating Your Word-Aligned System

Once you've chosen your word, let's build a system that supports your new theme. Think of this as creating a personal operating system that makes it easier to embody your chosen word than to resist it.

The "Opposite Map" Method

Here's a fascinating insight: Sometimes the clearest path forward is to first understand what you're moving away from. Psychologist Carl Jung called this "shadow work" - understanding our current patterns to consciously choose different ones.

Let's say your word for 2025 is "Spacious." Here's how to map your system:

Current Life Audit

• What's the opposite of "spacious" in your life? (Example: "cluttered," "rushed," "overwhelmed")

• When do you feel most "cluttered"? List specific situations

• What triggers lead to these moments?

Environment Design

• What in my environment is enabling “clutter” “rushed “overwhelm”?

• Example: Phone by the bed (leads to late-night scrolling), no evening routine, bad sleep. System solution: Phone charges in another room, evening routine that makes room for a a calm morning, read before bed instead. 

Decision Filters

• "Will this create more space or crowd my life?"

• "Am I saying yes from abundance or scarcity?"

• "What would my 'spacious self' do here?"

Support Structures

• Identity anchors: Physical reminders of your word (could be as simple as a phone wallpaper or a meaningful object on your desk)

• Habit stacks: Attach new "spacious" habits to existing ones

• Social accountability: Who embodies this quality that could mentor you or you can simply think of when you’re trying to be more like your word?

Task: Create your own system to help support your intention for the year.

3. Crafting Identity

As a mental health newsletter, it feels natural to address goals within this realm. But here's where we need to be particularly mindful: many mental health goals are formed in the negative, focusing on what we want to avoid rather than what we want to become. 

This isn’t a bad thing, “shadow work” as Jung has outlined is incredibly informative, but if you find yourself writing goals like "be less anxious," it may actually lead you to spend time resisting instead of becoming. Ancient Stoic philosophers didn't try to "reduce negative thoughts" - they focused on embodying the identity of a wise person. Marcus Aurelius wrote in his Meditations, "Waste no more time arguing about what a good person should be. Be one." 

Consider what anthropologists call "liminal transformation" - the process of becoming someone new.

Instead of "I want to be less anxious," try "I want to embody calm." This isn't just semantic gymnastics - it's based on the fascinating concept of self-perception theory. Psychologist Daryl Bem found that we often deduce our attitudes and identities from observing our own behavior, not the other way around. In other words, we don't act because of who we are; we become who we are because of how we act.

Here's how to reframe common mental health goals:

• Instead of "reduce anxiety" → "I embody peace"

• Instead of "stop procrastinating" → "I take decisive action and complete tasks"

• Instead of "be less reactive" → "I take deliberate pauses to make decisions aligned with my values"

• Instead of "avoid toxic people" → "I curate uplifting relationships"

Task: Make a list of 3 mental health goals (invert them if needed). An easy trick is to ask yourself “What would someone who has mastered X act like, think like, and be like in this same situation?” If we were to have this conversation again in six months, what would need to happen for you to feel like you’ve made meaningful progress In this area?

Remember psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's insight: "The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times... the best moments usually occur if a person's body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile."

As you step into the new year, ask yourself not what goals you want to achieve, but who you want to become. Let your actions flow from that identity, and let your progress be measured not in checkboxes ticked, but in moments of genuine alignment with your chosen path.

THE ESSENTIALS
This section includes relevant resources, articles, videos, people to check out, and links to strengthen your psychological resilience and emotional intelligence.

• Japanese Shinto Cleansing - I've been thinking a lot about how to incorporate ritual into my days, particularly I've been interested in water/cleansing rituals. In Shinto tradition, purification through water is sacred - from the simple temizu hand washing at shrine entrances to the more intensive misogi waterfall meditation. While these practices are deeply spiritual and specific to Shinto, their core insight about water's power to cleanse both body and mind aligns with modern DBT techniques, which use cold water's physical effects on our nervous system as a grounding tool. Try keeping a small bowl of water at your desk or designating your bathroom sink as a "reset point" - combining ritual and neuroscience in one simple act of renewal.

• Dreamlining - Tim Ferriss introduced "Dreamlining" as an alternative to traditional goal-setting that focuses on designing your ideal lifestyle rather than just achieving isolated objectives. The premise is simple but powerful: instead of starting with what seems realistic, you begin by letting yourself dream expansively about what an exciting life would look like across categories like "Having" (material goals), "Being" (personal qualities), and "Doing" (experiences and activities). The magic happens in the next step - converting these dreams into concrete, monthly targets by calculating the actual cost and actions needed to achieve them.

• Emotion Granularity - Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett's Emotion Granularity Exercise is designed to help individuals increase their emotional awareness by encouraging them to distinguish between different emotions more precisely. The exercise involves identifying and labeling emotions with greater specificity, moving beyond basic terms like "happy" or "sad" to explore a wide range of nuanced feelings. By expanding the emotional vocabulary, this practice promotes better emotional regulation, self-awareness, and the ability to cope with complex emotional experiences. It is based on Barrett's research that emotions are constructed through cognitive processes, rather than being hard-wired responses to stimuli.
  

THE GALLERY
A curated collection of moving art, poems that resonate, stories that illuminate transformational frameworks, ideas that spark wonder, and questions answered.

Here is a question I was asked recently and I think it is worth addressing here:

How can I find credible mental health information on social media?

Start by following verified accounts of licensed professionals, reputable organizations, and university or research-based accounts.

It is crucial to approach content with a discerning mindset. Be wary of posts that offer overly simplistic advice, such as “10 steps to cure anxiety.” While such lists might seem helpful or easy to follow, they often fail to capture the complexity of mental health challenges. Mental health is influenced by a variety of factors, including biology, environment, personal history, and current circumstances, which means solutions are rarely one-size-fits-all. Quick-fix approaches can oversimplify these issues, potentially leading to frustration or feelings of inadequacy when they don’t work as promised. Instead, prioritize content that acknowledges this complexity and provides nuanced, evidence-based insights, encouraging you to seek tailored, professional guidance when needed.

many mental health diagnoses have overlapping symptoms, which can make self-diagnosis tricky—and even misleading. For example, symptoms like fatigue, difficulty concentrating, or irritability can be present in conditions ranging from anxiety, depression, ADHD, trauma, or even a medical issue. While social media can raise awareness, it’s not a substitute for personalized evaluation. A professional considers your full history, context, and a range of factors before making a diagnosis. If something resonates, use it as a starting point to explore further with a qualified therapist or doctor, rather than jumping to conclusions.

Trustworthy sources are also non-judgmental and inclusive, working to reduce stigma and promote understanding.

Always verify what you see by cross-referencing with reputable health sites.