Closing the Gap

THE SHIFT

Closing the Gap

In a well-known video, storyteller Ira Glass describes a phenomenon he calls “the gap.” When people begin creative work, they usually have excellent taste. They know what good art, writing, or storytelling looks like. 

But at first, their skills don’t match that vision. What they create falls short of what they admire. The mismatch can be discouraging, frustrating, and painful. 

Glass’s advice is simple: keep producing work. Over time, with consistent effort, the gap between taste and ability narrows until one’s creations align with one’s vision.

This same concept applies to growth and healing. 

No matter if you’re trying to improve your mood, recover from trauma, or change an unwanted pattern, you likely have a clear sense of how it should look and feel. 

Most of us long for something reminiscent of deep, meaningful, reciprocal relationships, a body that can feel calm, a mind that rests easily, a life of stability, joy, and safety.

Yet often our nervous system and relational patterns lag behind. Old wounds resurface, leading to shutdown, over-giving, or repeating familiar cycles even when you “know better.” 

Philosophy and psychology both recognize this tension between the life you’re currently living and the one you desire. Aristotle called it telos, the natural pull within every living being toward wholeness. Centuries later, Carl Rogers described the “actualizing tendency,” our innate drive to grow into our ideal self.

Just as artists must try and fail repeatedly, creating many imperfect works before reaching mastery, we must allow ourselves to practice new skills, slowly aligning our actions with our deepest values and vision of ourselves. Closing this gap is often simple in concept but difficult in practice.

Relationally, it might mean setting small boundaries, saying no without apology, practicing vulnerability with someone safe, or repairing instead of withdrawing after conflict. 

Internally, it could look like pausing to notice your breath before reacting, sitting with discomfort without numbing, choosing rest when your body asks for it, facing what you’ve been avoiding, or challenging the inner critic with self-compassion. 

Each attempt, messy or successful, is a healing “rep.” Over time, these reps rewire your nervous system, teaching your body and mind what safety, stability, and love feel like.

Glass reminds us that frustration in the gap is proof that your vision has grown. In healing, it shows you’ve become aware of the problem, and your body is trying to activate you into change. What remains is the steady, intentional practice of closing the distance.

What is one small, specific action you can take this week that moves you closer to the life you know you want to live?

THE SHIFT

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